[Danielle Balocca]: Hey listeners, this is Danielle. And Shelley. Shelley is a radical Dravidian and racial equity activist.
[Chelli Keshavan]: And Danielle is a community mobilizer and change maker. And this is the Medford Bites podcast. Every two weeks, we chew on the issues facing Medford and deliver bites of information about the city by lifting the expertise of our guests.
[Danielle Balocca]: Join us in discussion about what you hope for the future of Medford. And as always, tell us where you like to eat. All right, we're here at Extreme Ninja Studio with Ninja and Anna. So if you guys wouldn't mind just like introducing yourselves, just say who you are.
[SPEAKER_03]: My name is Ninja and Mister, and I own a martial art gym quite with my wife.
[SPEAKER_00]: And yep, I'm Anna Nguyen. So we own the dojo together. It's Extreme Ninja Martial Arts. We also have a fitness program here as well. And our main focus, I think our main kind of purpose here is empowering youth and families to live their healthiest life.
[Danielle Balocca]: Yeah, and we're going to get a lot into that and hear more about that. I do like how you just described the empowerment angle. That's something that Shelly and I kind of talked about wondering about. I always wonder about that with any kind of exercise or martial arts. But before we get into that, we just want to ask you both the question that we ask everybody who comes on the podcast, which is your favorite place to eat in Medford. And if there's something that you particularly enjoy there, you could share that too.
[SPEAKER_00]: For me, I really like Ebisuya, which is the Japanese market right down the street. They always have really cool, fun snacks. My kids love that place. And the sushi is just, I mean, it's very authentic. It's always fresh. It's always really good. Everybody there that works there is really friendly, very welcoming. I love that place.
[SPEAKER_03]: And I think for me, same spot. If I was looking for sushi or like anything that to do with like food prep at home. The other place that I know personally for me breakfast is the Lighthouse. You know, they're very friendly, you know, very friendly. They always know your name when they come in. So, you know, for me, that's big. And then the other part too is the Mexican place is the... Tenocht. Tenocht, yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, they're very nice.
[SPEAKER_03]: They're very nice, you know, so I, I like to interact with people who passion into what they do, you know, and I think the biggest thing for me is knowing and familiar with the people who's coming in to support you, you know, because I always believe that If without them, the business would not be here. So we have to, for myself anyway, to appreciate.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I can tell like Medford is definitely starting to have more and more places and kind of welcoming more into the community. So it's nice to see how things have changed over the years and how there's more options available now. I feel like there's a lot more to choose from now.
[Danielle Balocca]: You kept it to your small radius of Medford Square, which is nice, very like hyperlocal. So it sounds like you guys spend a lot of time here in the square.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. Yeah. And I think what's nice too about Medford Square is like the community of business owners in this area are very supportive of each other. And, you know, we all kind of get to know each other and we see each other and we talk to each other. So it's very supportive and nice.
[SPEAKER_03]: And then the dinner, of course, the fun, the Italian place at Nomad Street start with an F.
[Danielle Balocca]: Fjordaliers?
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, that's it. Yeah, on Salem Street. Yeah, on Salem Street. I love that place. But you can't bring a kid for sure.
[Danielle Balocca]: We do a lot of takeout from there, like for after the kids are in bed. We also shouldn't forget we have a third guest here, which is Boba, who we might hear from.
[SPEAKER_00]: Boba is our dojo dog. So she's not here all the time, but she's here often and she's just kind of like our little mascot. So yeah, she's a, she's very, she's not a barker. She's pretty quiet, but she's a very friendly dog. She loves being around kids and she's always kind of checking everybody out and, and sometimes she'll go on the mat and show us a few moves.
[SPEAKER_03]: She's usually very, it's like this playground for her.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: So usually when we have people, we don't want her to jump up. She's getting very excited. So we just like make sure she's roping it. But usually when people are not here, she runs everywhere. Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's part of the group.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. And the kids are like obsessed with her. They're all over her.
[Danielle Balocca]: That would be a reason for me to come in the door.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[Chelli Keshavan]: So I wonder if you might speak a little bit about your own like sort of personal connections to martial arts and maybe the story that comes before Extreme Ninja and then maybe the how and how that informs how this place came to be and even goes around.
[SPEAKER_03]: So I was, I started martial arts when I was four years old. Okay. And in my culture in Vietnam, I was born Vietnamese and Thai. So what happened is back when I was growing up is the military, just like you turn 18 years old, they come and they take you. It's not like in America, you have your name on and all that. So we have in my family, we have 10 people in the family. We have more, but of course two pass away. So, you know, but we have a lot and we have five female and five male. So what happened is my parents, they are fishermen. So what happened is when they come and take you, you know, you're mandatory, you have to go. So my dad smuggled all my brother here. So 1974. They smuggled over here and I was like a curious child, you know, like wake up in the morning, my brother not there. So because of that, my dad put me into martial arts just like distracts. So by the way, this kid doesn't ask too many questions, curious questions. So throughout that process, I learned martial arts. And then throughout that process, my dad actually got arrested because he smuggled everybody to the U.S. So he got arrested for two years. And then when we got out, he got out, he brought us over here in 1978. And I was staying in a refugee camp from the Philippines and then Malaysia. So two camps. By the time we came to the U.S. it was 1980, December 1980. That was very cold at the time. You know, so, but throughout that process, I went to school. I wasn't like so great at school because the language barrier. I was just explaining to her like joking around was like back then was missing. Was it the neighborhood Roger, you know, ABC, you know, like that's how I learned English. And then I went to school. And then I moved back here 1986. I went to Medford High School, you know, and at that time was not a lot of Asian. It was like two and then maybe like four or five, maybe black, but the principal was a black lady. So it was, you know, it was a new environment, you know, growing up and I fell in love with the town, you know, so we live Spring Street and Salem Street, you know. And so because of that, I always trained martial art. I always, you know, and we, in my culture, martial art is not about a business. It's more like a healthy, you know, like you train, but it's not about like one day you open a business, you know. So it's a little bit different to see the environment because my parents expect me to like lawyer, doctor, you know, it's kind of typical, you know. And so I went opposite way. I fell in love with the health, you know, the lifestyle. I fell in love with it throughout my martial art. So 1987, I graduate high school, I opened my first martial art gym. And this was in Stoneham that used to be before LA Fitness was like the Desert Mall down there before. And then 1991, I closed the gym because at that time I was competing and teaching same time. What I mean is that I would teach my student to get better and then I would in some way kind of like take advantage on the students, so by that way, I can get better, you know. So my dad asked me, he said, you know, you have a choice. You can be a teacher or a student. You can't be both because martial art is about integrity with who you are. So 1991, I closed the school. When I closed the school, I ended up working, I don't know if you know this place, Avalor. Good night club. Yeah. So I was running, I work over there and then I become a manager and run security over there. So I did that 21 years, you know, so. And I love it because, you know, you want to make sure like people are not, you know, get drunk, leave, or fight, stuff like that. So I'm really love observing people. And I love caring for people. Just simply the fact is that, you know, they're in the environment, not safe for them. So I did that for a while and then she worked there and then we kind of went back to bar dating. So that's, that's how the journey of the martial arts, you know, but throughout that process, 1991 to 19, no 2006. Before I met her, it was more like a lifestyle because I grew up in, what is it, the godfather, untouchable, the rap, kind of like in that environment, they were talking about how to make money, you know. So I got caught in that. So I was working security, but at the same time, I was more providing some service, you know. So I fell into bookie, you know, I fell into like, I did a favor, so if you need drug, I'm there for you, you know. And then, you know, I make a lot of money, but at the same time throughout that process, because the money, it was kind of like I stuck in between. And then I got arrested and then I won the case and then I decided to change my life, you know, and then. I remember one night I brought somebody out at the nightclub. I brought somebody out and then this guy was fighting, so I submit him. I hold him down. And then there's an older gentleman, he said, you know, he's, you know, he's done. So you just like let him be, let him go on. And then he remind me back of my martial art lesson was that you're there to support, protect, is not doing out of integrity. So because of that, the life lesson teach me was the more money I make that not real money, not honest money, I lose it. The faster I make, the faster I lose. So because of that, We basically changed our lifestyle. We met, she came in and then she, you know, I always work all the time and then she told me like, you got to go vacation, you got to, you know, so I changed my lifestyle based on that. And then, you know, so throughout that process, I'm still training. But because of the training is take who I was and who I was before. So my, my life completely changed, reversed back to where I started. So, and then I basically, throughout that process, I teach in some school, but it's not about money. It's about changing the lifestyle, say kids, say no to drugs and support them in a positive environment. knowing the kid who needs support, knowing the kid who have challenges and be there almost like a mentor, but just to listen, you know, and then share with them my experience. You know, if you do this way, there's consequence. If you do this way, there's inspirations. So the choice they have to make. And my job is not to judge them. My job is to provide information for them. So by that way, they make their own choice. You know, so, so that's what I fell in love with this one, the art. And then we move away, actually. We moved 2006. I left the nightclub. I moved to Arizona. When I move over there, you know, like sometimes you feel like, for me anyway, You feel like you're changing your life, but you're not really changing your life. You move the environment, you go someplace, but there's something that brought you back to a regional and then you lost. And throughout that process, we have a family. We got married. And then after that, we decided we want to have kids. And the right time, we waited for eight years. We didn't have kids and then suddenly we bankrupt. We got nothing and then the baby come. So that was, so we name our daughter was Patience. So it just remind us how much life you have to be patient. And then after that, I moved back here. And it's funny, things too, is that when you are someone, you give people a job, and then when you come back, you're on your knee, you're looking for a job, nobody give it to you. You know, so, and then I end up, went back to one of my old friends, student, I was teaching him for free just so I, by that way, I can have a place to live. And meanwhile, my wife stayed over at their parent's house. So for me, it was one year. I didn't see my kid, basically I see my kid one time a year. So that year I told her that. We didn't have any money, so I have to go with my passion is. So I went teach for nothing for my student and then every single day he would get me a coffee. you know, and something to eat. So I teach them for about almost a year. And then he decided to, because he got married and in the Cape. And then he asked me, he said, can you help me, you know, build a gym? So I helped him build a gym. And then one day he walked in and he gave me the key. And he said, thank you. That was it, because I was there for him and his son. You know, his son was passed away that year and I was with him. And because of that, he did that for me without any questions, you know. Because of that, I told myself to give back, you know, because something that he give out of love, nothing else, didn't expect anything. And then so I support him and then he did that and then I found love with him. And I want everybody to feel the same story that I have. So by that way, it's possible for them, you know, because sometimes I think people look on the negative side and the positive side, you know, so.
[Danielle Balocca]: And was there a reason that you decided to have Georgia in Medford?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, it was already in Medford because that's where his student was and had the place in Medford. But then he also had the connection here from going to high school. Yeah.
[Danielle Balocca]: Yeah. I think you said you fell in love with Medford.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I fell in love with Medford because I remember that the mall right now, that's where Wegman is, it used to be Middle Glenville. And when you walk in, there's a bunch of older gentlemen, Italian, that they sit, they would talk. And I, when I was here, I loved to hear like when they're speaking, because I'm learning something because I, you know, I told a student here, I said, I can't tell anybody's right or wrong because I'm still working my English. So I can't give you, I can't tell you wrong because the kid would be straightforward. They'd be like, well, you can't speak English well either. You know what I'm saying? So, but I loved it because the community, you know, but at that time it was more like, I didn't look at people as like different color. I look at people as just human, you know, and I loved it because every day I would go there after school, I would go there, all the gentlemen would sit there talking, you know, so I loved that as a community.
[Chelli Keshavan]: What was it like to come back to Medford after Arizona and to your point, come back to like a familiar space, but also something that had changed?
[SPEAKER_03]: I think the biggest thing for me was I told my wife when I told her that I'm going back to Boston, she was more, didn't want me to fall into the life that where I was, you know? So she said to me, and I said to her, I said, give me the opportunity and trust me. And within six months, I turned it around and make it possible. And then about, I think, nine months, she came and she see the place. And she said to me, she said, I will stay, only that if you let me support you. So we become a partnership on both sides because She knows what to support and I know what she needs support on. So we're more like a partnership than anything, you know, and I think that's what make our relationship stronger because we truly like talk to each other and respect each other because we have a boundary, you know, and we understand that what my role is, what her role is. So same thing, we take that role to go home. And be like, okay, this is my role. This is her role. So for us, it's more remind, you know, what the role is at work, what the role at home. So by that way, we don't have the cross line.
[SPEAKER_00]: Just keep your side of the street clean and you're good. Yeah.
[Danielle Balocca]: I wonder what this, what his story is bringing up for you and how your sort of memory evolved.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I mean, I have a different journey, obviously, with martial arts. I mean, I grew up in New Hampshire, so totally different, you know, coming from a different background and everything. But yeah, I originally came to Medford because I was a student house. And I bartended at Avalon during college to pay for school. And that's when I met him. And I was always interested in martial arts and always wanted to trained martial arts. I mean, I grew up watching, for me, martial arts was seen in movies. It was like the Ninja Turtles, you know, and like, I love Ernie Bass Jr. and Red Sonja with Arnold Schwarzenegger and I loved all those movies. And so I was like, drawn to it from that. And And I was like, oh, that's really cool. But I never had access to that. I never had any place to go to do that when I was a kid. And then I met him and I was like, oh, well, and we started talking about it and it just was a mutual interest. And then I started training. But yeah, I mean, we came to like, we didn't actually live in Medford at that time. We kind of moved around a lot. We, and then we moved, we decided to move to Arizona in 2006 because we were trying to, again, kind of like he said, start a new life and to kind of make a change. And like he said, sometimes you move to a place, but you haven't changed yourself. So we kind of, I mean, it was, it was, everything happens the way it's supposed to happen. And I'm really glad that we went through that. We moved out there. Things didn't change because we didn't change, but we, you know, did encounter an opportunity. We did a, we did a course out there. It was kind of like a personal growth course. And I think that that was sort of a benchmark for us to really look inside and change what was inside. And then after that, after having our kid, our first daughter patients, like that was a major shift for, for both of us. But yes, we lost everything. We had bankruptcy. We had our car recess. We lost our house before closure. We lost everything and had a baby at the same time. So that was definitely, I think, the hardest year of my life, but I learned so much from it. And I feel like a lot of times when you go through hard things, it makes you a stronger person in the end and it actually propels you forward to grow more. So I think that that was actually something that was good for us. And I feel like if we hadn't been through that, we wouldn't have come back here. We wouldn't have built a business together. We wouldn't have built a family together even. So when we did come back here, you know, yeah, we had to find our way again and kind of rebuild. And it was definitely a slow process at first. And at first I wasn't like sure. When he came here, I was staying with my parents in Maryland, so we weren't like together. So it was hard to kind of trust like, okay, you know, is he, he's in the same place, Boston, Medford area. So I knew like, is he going to start hanging out with the old people that he hung out with before? Is it just going to be the same thing that it was before? But then he showed me that it wasn't. And I think like having our kind of like having patients made that change, but also the journey that we had when we were out in Arizona and going through all that created that change as well. And then we were able to kind of, you know, come together and build something together and support each other to make it even better. So, yeah.
[Danielle Balocca]: I like this sort of like thread of like these different sort of value shifts that you talked about in your journey. And it sounds like your beginnings maybe were based on like survival, right? I have to like, I have to make money so that I can like, you know, do the things that I want to do or I have to train so that I can, you know, meet these goals. And I wonder, like, it sounds like the challenges that you faced kind of allowed you to look at yourselves and sort of know yourselves more deeply and who you want to be and where you want to go and perhaps your children had a part of that. I wonder how, how do you take those values into your work?
[SPEAKER_03]: I think the biggest thing for me as you know, as grown up, see the environment move fast and then when I changing, and I think For me personally, when I have my daughter came and totally allowed me to look at myself and be like, do I want my daughter to hang out with somebody that was like me? You know, so that's a big shift for me. Um, and I used to, growing up in Boston, you know, you swear all the time, you know, and when my daughter was born, my life totally changed. I don't swear, you know. And I have a big value is that you can't expect your kid to do something if you're not willing to do it yourself. And as the same, as the environment for me was growing up, that you never hear the word, I love you, or you had never hear, or you never have a parent hug you. So it's totally different perspective of me knowing that my kid was born and I was there for her. And I learned how to hug and love through our relationship. Because I was one of those like dating never hold hand, you know, because I didn't grow up that affections, you know. So because of that, my life changed. And because that lesson, it showed me that I have to be able to look at myself where I want to go, you know. And the biggest thing for me was, do I want to be the person that bring people in a darkness place? Or do I want to bring to the people that the fun place knowing that they deserve to be? Because I looked deep inside myself as that. I want the same thing as everybody wants, knowledge, attention, you know, all that, that we're all born, we need it, you know. And, and because of that, I look at my daughter every single day and it doesn't matter if you have a bad day, good day, she knows exactly to run at you. So it's, to me, that's what really love is about. It's not about what you did wrong. It's knowing that the person needs support, you know, and, and she was young. She doesn't know like to speak yet, but she knows like when you need it, you know? So for me, that's big. So because of that, I want to give everybody the same opportunity to see who they are. You read Regatta, they want an ear to listen. Or they want, you know, to just sit there and look with each other without talking, you know, and we are there for. And I think the biggest thing for us as a business person. Because we are success due to we there for their need, not as my need, you know, because I think that big for me as a community and as growing together, you know, because I noticed that for me is that when I give that it fulfilled back to me. At the same time, I look at a blessing, it's not like, well, they need me. You know what I'm saying? It's opposite. They give me that because I'm there for them. So, you know, but that's just the way how I look at my business within people. You know, so, and I say this all the time with people is that I'm lucky to have the opportunity to be with them. You know, sometimes people come in, they always say, oh, no, thank you. You're great. I say, no, without you, I would not be here. So I recognize that, you know, so.
[Chelli Keshavan]: Cute. So many things while you're talking and thinking about something that I say a lot that from my perspective, if you're doing it right, parenting should both soften and radicalize you. And your moment of like having this new baby for the first time and your identity changing as parents is resonating for me. And I, when my kids came in, I'm also like a doula and a CLC, so I'm with brand new parents all the time. I think it helps you evaluate what systems have interacted with your life and why and what energy you gave back to them. And then like what you're hoping for those link folders and what those same systems might, may or may not do to your child based on. what choices you make today and every day, and it's heavy. But I think also your commentary, which resonates for me, feels Asiatic in that, like, all of the children are our children. If you're an adult, the well-being of the child is our responsibility all the time, every day. It's not a biological thing. It's an investing because it's an absolute, it's a village. So I love that it feels like you're bringing that energy to the space where kids are encouraged first to be heard and bound. I would validate and listen to you.
[SPEAKER_03]: Because I think, I think personally for me, we are all human. You know, we love each other. We just have a different way of express, you know, for example, I'll give you a perspective of how I was, you know, so I do this program. There's one program it's called, what is it, EM. Ima, it's called Ima. Okay. Kid that cool, I don't, I don't like to say special because I believe that we all want the same thing, love and recognition, you know. And so I was teaching that program and I, you know, sometimes people say to me, say, do you have like a special class for those person? I said to them, I said, There is no such thing as separations. I believe that I have to find a way to communicate with them. You know, for example, I was working with this kid that he punched, you know, but he doesn't know like, you know, how he punched. So for me, I have to find a way to connect with them. So in some way, he's teaching me how to communicate with them. You know, so I don't like to, I don't like to dissect people how they should belong to this group or that group because, you know, I believe that we should respect each other to this standpoint in the communications. You know, for example, I have a lady that she trained here. She doesn't speak, she's deaf. So, you know, she's teaching me how to communicate with her. So there's an opportunity to learn from one another, you know, and, you know, and I believe that that's what we should do with everybody, you know, so.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, actually I just kind of want to add on too with, you know, they mentioned like this village parenting, but I feel like there's also this other aspect that happens here with the kids helping the kids, which I think is really, really powerful. Like we have a leadership program, a mentor program. And I feel like sometimes, you know, with parenting, sometimes you feel like you need to be everything for your kid, but you can't be everything to one person. And sometimes they need to have that interaction or learn from different people in different ways. And I love seeing when the kids actually help each other and unprompted too. You see it all the time where the kids support each other and learn from each other and help each other grow. And that's really powerful too.
[Chelli Keshavan]: I think nor should you. I think like a village expectation lends to children filling into like a natural hierarchy that they will build into on their own. Yeah. Whereas like a, there's an article in the HuffPost entitled The Mistake of the Nuclear Family, probably about six months ago, but I thought a lot about how children's culture is like. dissipating and also the toolkit that they get from participating is no longer going to be a meal to children if we can't build spaces like this for them, you know.
[Danielle Balocca]: Yeah, you used the word empowerment in the very beginning of our talk today. I wonder how does that come up? You sort of, I think, giving a good picture of how you like, you think about it, but how does it come up in your practice? Let me see how I answer this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you can go ahead, yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: I think the word is empowerment for me. So the way how my brain processes, I usually take the word in English, translate to my language and then refers back. So I was grown up in that environment. And I always believe that, you know, you have a choice to inspire someone. Okay. And I believe that everyone already have what they needed. They just need someone to remind them. It may click it to them to, for me, to inspire them, to empower them, to see what there's possibility.
[Unidentified]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay. For example, when we teach in class, when I teach a class, I usually, the reason why we have a mirror over here is so, for people to see themselves. And usually when end of the class, I have the kid look at the mirror. Okay. And I have thing that always remind them. So we will look in the mirror and I will say to them, like they see themselves in the mirror and they take a finger and they say, you're awesome. And then they reply, they say, I'm awesome. Because for them, they see what possible, Ralph, you know, like for example, a bad environment, they adapted to that. It's not that they, their choice. It's just, they seen that a lot.
[Unidentified]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: So in here we want them to see what possible, who they are. And who they should be is themselves. You know, and I think a lot of time people judge kids by the way who, how fast they move. Okay. How much they be able to, like, um, like I was talking to some parents, you know, like some kid, they move so fast, like a computer, you know, they move so fast. So your job, you can't really judge a kid who they are. You have to be able to catch up to them so by the way, you can communicate with them, you know? So I want them to see like who they are can inspire to who they are, not what my expectation is, you know?
[Danielle Balocca]: I like that element of like choice, right? Like our, like empowerment. We like that example of like when we see our kids do things that like are great and like, we haven't told them to do it right. Like that we're sort of like giving them the options and, and like sort of trusting them to do what's best for them. And that being really empowering. I feel like when I've thought about, and I've heard about like martial arts and like self-defense courses, there's this like, expectation of like, well, you need this to be able to protect yourself. And like, at which I think like, is kind of a, like, can feel like a harmful message, right? Like if you're not strong, then people could do things to you that like, you don't want to happen to you. And like, versus like, I think this, like building up that sense of who you are so that you can feel good in the world rather than feeling like you're vulnerable all the time.
[SPEAKER_03]: Right. So, so, you know, the, the way how I create this program is just basically based on my life and based on what I see. Okay. So for example, when we're teaching class, we always, the first thing is I want the kid to recognize who supports them. Because for us, it's big. For the kid, it's the parent brought you here. So I want them to usually, because I grew up, there's no affection. So usually when I teach a class, I say, okay, who brought you here? They say, my mom, my dad, whoever. I said, okay, did you say thank you to them? Did you hug them? It's to appreciate them. That's the first step, you know. And then we give them the opportunity to see. And I always say this, you either choose in or choose out. And you have to make that choice. I can present it to you, but you have to choose in and choose out. Of course, young kid, I have to kind of give them what I call a keyword and then remind them. Okay. So let's say if I asked her what her name is for that moment, she raised her hand up and then let's say she said, James, let's say. I clap the hand, I say, wow, you have so much courage, confidence, you speak up. And then I may ask, like, do you want me to call you James? And then they decide to say, no, no, I want you to do this. And then I may say, okay, can you spell your name? So by that way, I want to make sure that I call you the way you want it. You know, so it's throughout the process, it's like, I want the kid to kind of see Or let's say if they break the rule for themselves, there's always a choice that you can correct. So the thing that I teach about here is there's a 4C that is very important to us. It's that communication, compassion, compromise, commitment. Those are the things. And then there's a thing that we said, the 3R that you want to avoid. Resistance, resentment, revenge. So what we tell them is that, okay, when you resist, what would you do before you hit to resentment, revenge? Okay. We will tell them, okay, you got replaced with the C, the four C. What's the first thing you need to do? Communications. You know, so we want people to understand that you can be able to fix that, you know, and I don't like to say the word fix, the choice that they have to make. So by that way, there's no conflict. That's about respect to each other, you know? And I think like, for me here, we focus more like life skill. Then the martial art, however, we use the martial art to stimulate them so by the way, they learn better. You know, because it's just like any, any kid go to playground, they learn faster throughout the process. And throughout the process, we give them a lessons, the rule, and then the goal. Okay. For young kid, we say the skill, you know, because they go there like, what is that? You know, so... Do you have anything?
[Danielle Balocca]: No, not yet. Great. We've gotten to a lot. Is there anything that you want to like share just about the programming or how people can get involved?
[SPEAKER_03]: So the program is the way I, you know, so I wrote the book, it's about based on the Mahashat. You know, each lesson on there, it's, I wrote a short chapter because I believe that it's easy for everybody to read.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_03]: And the book is about when you step on a mat. We have the rule, what we call, we bow. When we bow, it's we acknowledge, you know, what we are going to do next. Okay. And once we did that, the next step, it was talking about, you know, warm up. Okay. So what does warm up do for you? A warm-up can be sometimes people say, oh, get your bodies going. But in here, yes, we did get our body going, but that's not about part of it. It's about communication, get to know each other. And then we do as we do, so that we do warm-up. And next step we do what we call partner drill. So how would you work with partner? Let's say by you don't warm up with me, get to know me, would you trust me? So that's big for us each step of the lessons. And we want them to understand that lesson can be everywhere. Okay. Because sometimes I hear people say all the time, it's like, when you go this place, you got to check your ego and left out the door. I tell everybody, I said, you are only one person. Whatever you bring, you want to be able to bring it knowing Acknowledge that and then express it. Okay. Because, you know, sometimes people have stress, their lifetime. They don't want to yell because they feel like, well, somebody judging me. But in here, everybody yell. We don't swear, of course, but everybody yells. We want people to know how they feel when they yell. They let go of the stress, they let go of their challenge, or they want to accomplish something. So, you know, everybody has a different goal when they step on. But when they come out, I've never seen a person tell me that they come in with one goal and came out with one goal.
[Unidentified]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_03]: You know, so it's, yeah, so it's, you know, and then we want, we create this community. It's about sharing. The purpose of community is because we always tell everybody is when you come in, number one, if you enjoy the community, number two, the environment, number three, if you enjoy the instructor. Okay. Because if you don't enjoy that, we don't want you to be here because we don't want Every day you're like, oh, you know, we want you to be excited because end of day, off the way, how I look is like you dating you. You come in here, you take care of you. If you don't enjoy you, who's not going to enjoy you? You know what I'm saying? Or like, I say this a lot, if you cheat on you. Don't expect the other person not to cheat on you, but don't get upset, you know? And, you know, I want them to acknowledge that, you know, let's say I say five push-ups and you do four push-ups. My job is to empower you, either I do with you, Okay. Or let you know what possible for you, you know, and I'll be there and support you. That's why I like to tell everybody is that when they come here, it's about partnership, you know, or like the other part is I always look at it as you buy, you, you get a top share. I want you to value it. I don't want you to pay for membership, don't come. You know, I want you to use it, you know, because end of the day is that, you know, you don't want to come in with 25 dumbbell of distress and then leave with 25 dumbbells of distress, you know, so, but.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so some details on how to find us and where to find us. First, the book, Step on the Map book by Ningen Nguyen. You can find it on Amazon. You can also find it online at steponthemapbook.com if you want to explore the book first before coming in or if you're not in Medford. The other option, if you are in Medford, come in and see us. Just stop in and say hi. We're very, we always strive to be a very welcoming community. That's probably the most important thing for me is I want people to come in and feel like they're coming home and coming to a family. So we offer free initial lessons for kids just and we usually what we do with that is we don't put them in the group first. We usually do a one-on-one with them. And the reason why we do that is because we really want to make sure that we get a chance to connect with the kid so that we can kind of, you know, see where they are. You know, sometimes for some kids, they might have, you know, like, like stress or, you know, might be emotional or social. Sometimes it's more physical that we're kind of looking at and working on. But we can't always tell that when it's in a group setting. It's easier for us to really connect and find out who they are and what we need to do to support them one on one. So we always do one on one with them first. And then we kind of go from there to guide them into what classes are kind of going to work best for them. Yeah, we do that for kids. And then for, I mean, we do have adult program too, fitness. We do nutrition coaching. We do nutrition for kids as well. So yeah, there's always opportunities to live your healthy life. And it's not just about kicking and punching. It's also about, you know, being social, being part of a group, being part of a community. It's also just, you know, your life, not on, not just on the mat, but off the mat and how you are as a person in the world.
[SPEAKER_03]: I think, I think for, for me anyway, you know, the biggest thing is when the kid come in for us is we want to know when the parent go is for their child. That's, that's why we do one-on-one with the kid. And then we have the opportunity to talk to the parent. For the adult, a lot of time, I've seen this all the time, is that people get timid, like you said, it's like into the martial art. But for us, we want the people to know how strong they are. Okay. Because for kickboxing, every couple of months, I let people breaking board, especially female, you know, because over there we have, I would say about 90% are female. And, you know, a lot of times throughout their day lives, maybe someone say to them they're not strong or they compare with people who trained for years, you know. And we want them to see, because I have a lady that's 67 years old. And she just punch as hard as anybody, you know. So we want them to see what possible for them and how strong they are. You know, because throughout their life, you know, everything is just caught you by the day. So sometimes you forgot how strong you are, you know. You waking up in the morning, you're already strong, you know. You going to work, that's a strong day for you. But throughout the day, you may have a lesson that you're learning, you know. And then you just have to kind of like take that lesson and just let it out. You know, I mean, I do this all the time still. Sometime I open the door and I scream out like I'm excited. Sometime I drive in and the car roll down and I'm smiling, you know, because I want people to know that it's human being. Whatever you feel, just let it out, you know, and it's okay.
[Danielle Balocca]: I like that like permission to explore a feeling or to express a feeling rather than I think what we hear a lot about is just like, like shutting down of that, especially in kids. Like you can't feel that's right. You can't feel angry. You can't feel frustrated. You have to just do what you have to do. Being able to have that outlet sounds really valuable.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I mean, you know, my country, they always say this, you should not cry. You know, so I grew up in an environment that you men should not cry. You should hold your feeling in, right? Or my parents always say this, you should know I love you. I don't need to tell you. So, you know, growing in that environment, you're like, you never tell me, I don't know. So now, because of that, I say to my kid, my wife all the time, every chance that I do, wake up in the morning, I hug them because I want them to know. Because I don't know what I can dream for life, but I don't know what tomorrow comes. So I want them to know that moment, I love you and I care for you. And then whatever that day is. Of course, you know, my goal, of course, is to live longer, but I don't know. You know, so, so it's big for me, you know, on that standpoint.
[Unidentified]: Anything we haven't asked you that you want to share?
[Danielle Balocca]: We are so grateful for what you've shared.
[Chelli Keshavan]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, no, I appreciate you, you know, and I think, I think. I hope, my goal and my hope is that everybody take the moment to appreciate themselves because they are matter. You know, and I say this, whenever sometimes people coming in, people I don't know and I shake their hands, you know, because I think like a lot of time, like I said earlier, is people's lives so busy, they don't take a moment to really recognize how great they are each day that they deal with challenges, you know. So I want to be able to create that environment. for the kid, for adult to see what possible for them, regardless of training to be a martial art, training to be competing, you know, or training each individual, because this sport is just about you. You know, there's nobody around to cheer for you, right? You go competing, you're on your own, you know, so you see like, okay, we're there to support you. but we're not fighting for you, you know. So I want people to understand is that the same thing as life. When you fall on your face, you have a choice. You know, you can get up and keep moving forward, you know. However, if you fall, there's somebody to support you, you know, but you can't be helped. Like I always say to the kid, I said, no one in here needs help because if you need help, you need to call 911. And I always tease her now, I said, we don't have a patch, say, you know, rescue, you know, because you're here for who you are to step up and accept your greatness, you know, and that's big for us. Anything else to add? I just want to say thank you for the opportunity to share with you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Unless there's anything else you want us to talk about specifically Medford, is there anything that we didn't touch on there?
[Danielle Balocca]: Good.
[SPEAKER_00]: Great. I just want to sign me up for a lesson.
[SPEAKER_03]: You can always come, check it out, take it to class, you know.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. So I mean, like for, I mean, I don't, we didn't really get into this, but like the type of classes that we offer. So we do, you know, self-defense, we do karate, we do Muay Thai, which is Thai boxing. We do kickboxing. We also do strength training. So we have a weight room. I think one thing that a lot of people in Medford don't know is how big of a space we have. Like they look from the outside and they've never been in here. And a reaction we get a lot is like, oh, wow, I had no idea how big it was.
[Unidentified]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they'll come in and like we have, you know, we have four studios in here. So we have two upstairs, two downstairs. Oh, so a lot of times people like don't necessarily know that. And I think that's one thing that, you know, I'd love for people in Medford to come in and check it out. It's like. What you see on the outside is so deceptive to what's on the inside. So, and do this at other places in Medford too. Walk through the door and check it out because you don't know what you're going to find.
[SPEAKER_03]: We always, you know, I always tell everyone, you know, it's when you come in, our job is to give you information. And your job is to research and find something in your heart really tell you to go. You know, because we don't want, I mean, we want every business to be a success because I believe that everybody deserves to be a success. You know, however, I want people to understand is that Not, not this place meant for everybody. You know what I'm saying? So it's, you know, it's for them to trust themselves and be able to, you know, trust their heart situations, you know, because, you know, like the big thing I tell the parent all the time is trust your heart. If this is the place for you, go for it. Give us the opportunity to show you, but if your heart tell you this is not the place, don't be in it, you know, trust your instinct.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's okay with us. I mean, to me, I'm like, you can't be everything to everyone. So, you know, if it's, if you love us, great. If you don't, that's fine. Go to you. Come to us. Well, that seems like it's perfect. Yeah. Thank you.
[SPEAKER_03]: Appreciate you. Thank you.
[Danielle Balocca]: Thanks so much for listening to today's episode. The Medford Bites podcast is produced and moderated by Danielle Balacca and Shelly Kisherman. Music is made by Hendrik Irenys. We'd love to hear what you think about the podcast. You can reach out to us by email at medfordpod at gmail.com, or you can rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts. Thanks so much for listening. Guys, what's the name of the podcast? Never Bites. Never Bites. Good job.